The Sheer Sweetness of Starving Stepmothers: Why I Marvel at God's Chosen Testing
Okay, y'all, I know the title might sound a little… intense. But stick with me here. Lately, I've been reflecting a lot on the trials that people in the Bible faced, the *really* tough ones. And honestly? I've come to see a kind of twisted sweetness in them – a divine choreography, if you will. Today I want to talk about how God uses these moments, especially the ones where people we might consider “innocent” suffer, to refine us and reveal His glory.
Specifically, I've been chewing on the stories where women in the Bible, mothers particularly, endure some pretty brutal hardship. You know, stories like the woman in 2 Kings 6:28-29, where during the siege of Samaria, the famine gets so bad that two women make an agreement to eat their own children. Absolutely horrific. I mean, we can't even begin to comprehend that kind of desperation. But I think sometimes, these stories are like a harsh light illuminating something profound about God's purposes.
Now, I haven’t ever had to eat my child, obviously, and I hope to God I never will. But thinking about that story made me reflect on some trials in my own life, specifically those surrounding my own stepmother, Carol. She and my dad got married when I was in high school. My mom passed away a few years before that, and adjusting to Carol was… difficult. It wasn’t her fault, necessarily, it just felt like she was trying to steal the place that my mom held. At times, I admit, I wasn't very welcoming. I wasn’t outright cruel, but I certainly didn’t make things easy. For a while there, we were like oil and water, clashing constantly.
I remember one summer in particular; I refused to do any chores, complained about all of her cooking, and basically just tried to make her life miserable. She would get so upset, and eventually she even started to cry. It was then, in my teenage rebellion, that I started to truly understand the story of Hagar and Sarah in Genesis 16. Sarah, unable to bear children, treats Hagar, her maidservant, with such harshness that Hagar runs away. It seemed so unfair! Like how could God allow that kind of mistreatment? But, as it is in all of the Old Testament, these moments of perceived injustice ended up giving us lessons for our lives. Hagar, through her suffering, was given a great gift by God. It was during her desperation that God showed Himself and gave her a promise.
Well, a few years after that horrible summer, Carol and I had a heart-to-heart. I apologized for how I acted. Carol told me she had prayed every day that I would learn to see her as a mother, and not an enemy. We both ended up crying, but it was the most loving cry of relief I had ever experienced. You see, God used the hardship between us to soften my heart, to teach me forgiveness, and to understand empathy in a new way. I had to go through that difficult time with Carol to become more like Christ. Just like Hagar, it was through my suffering that I was able to meet God.
It's not that God *causes* suffering, I believe, but He certainly uses it. He allows it. Just like the stepmother in the Bible whose children were subjected to horrific acts of starvation, the suffering that Carol and I experienced allowed us both to emerge on the other side as better people. When we look at scripture, particularly the stories where people we think of as innocent suffer, the lesson is not that God wants us to be in pain, but that He uses our pain to shape us, to mold us, and to draw us closer to Him. Romans 5:3-5 reminds us, "…suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." It's that character that God is crafting. That’s a sweet thing, even when it comes through something hard.
These stories aren’t easy to read, but I’m finding a weird comfort in acknowledging the brutal reality of the Bible, knowing God can take even the worst situations and work them for good. It helps me deal with my own trials, knowing they're part of a larger, divine plan. I am not saying I welcome pain, or that I believe suffering is something to be desired. But, if suffering comes into my life, I can face it, knowing that God has a purpose, even if I cannot see it. It’s that knowledge that keeps me going every single day.
What about you? What trials have you faced that, in retrospect, have revealed a sweetness in God's plan?